The Art Of Conversation

Nothing strikes fear into Mankind like the words, 'We need to talk'. Admittedly there are scarier phrases, based on my experience anyway. 'Let's catch up over coffee' = potential nightmare scenario. In this day and age, communication is king. There are so many ways to reach out to a loved one, or in some cases an unloved one - 'social' media allows us to keep friendships prospering across vast oceans and continents, and often suburbs. Meeting up with group of friends only to realise you have nothing to talk about because, oh yeah, I saw it on Facebook - it happens. Even a potential mate can be sourced with the right amount of good 'chat' on an app and a little clever online stalking research. So why is it so hard to take the leap and confess, 'We need to talk'...? 

We need to talk...about the weekend. 

In Your Head: OMG, WHAT DID I DO/SAY/FORGET/DRINK?

It was GREAT! Soooo relaxing sitting in the sun by the pool, almost finished my book, maybe should have been more liberal with the sun screen, but that's what Sundays are for, amirite? Good times. 

OH, SILLY. NOTHING TO SEE HERE. WHY WAS I WORRIED?

We need to talk...about your hair. 

I'M LOVING MY NEW FRINGE!

You might want to rethink the bangs. Just sayin'. 

SADFACE. I KNOW - I HATE IT TOO. 

We need to talk...about Kevin. 

UM...?

A powerful movie starring Tilda Swinton. Haven't seen it. Though highly recommended it in my tenure as a video store clerk. 

Also handy if you have someone in your life called 'Kevin' and you need to talk about them. 

NOTED.

We need to talk...about (insert title of latest TV series you've just binge watched and MUST recommend to everyone you know, despite the fact their eyes glaze over because they know you'll eventually end up musing once again on the notion that you just really, really love Midsomer Murders).

YES, YES, MIDSOMER MURDERS, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH.

We need to talk...about us.

There it is.

For those emotional over-sharers out there (also known as the darling sweethearts of the it'll-be-ok-even-though-it-seems-super-tough-right-now brigade), there are some of you that feel the need to talk it out. And fair enough too. Often times it comes down to the idea that 'whatever you have to say back to me isn't half as bad as what I'm imagining in my head, and at least I'll know where I stand'. For those who need some time to process what they want, that's perfectly fine. You can have all the time in the world. You fall into the category of 'I know you and I know you need some space and I've got your back with whatever is going on right now but I'm here so lean on me because that's what it's all about'. Up to a point, I guess. Beware the side effect that is the power of radio silence = pure torture. This can lead to those who like to keep things on a seemingly endless need-to-know basis, with everything at arm's length. Well, this is frankly frustrating, and will possibly end up doing more harm than good. No one likes to be the mushroom, so communicating doesn't have to be terrifying or terribly earth shattering, it just shines a little light on the situation.

A problem shared is a problem aired. And if it gets some air, there's more a chance you'll be less of a wet towel about it, whatever it may be.
Talking can only lead to good things, even if the talking happens to result in bad news at first glance. 

Mostly the sky doesn't immediately fall, and if it is indeed bad-ish news, give it a week and Bob's your transgender Auntie.

So let's talk...it's not scary, I promise.

images via: thelipstickbubble, ameliastrauss, jamienelson, athestyleguide, harpersbazaar, & thegraphicsfairy